I’m a feeling a little philosophical this morning, for reasons that I’ll leave aside for now and enlighten you on later. But I did want to share with you one of my personal guiding thoughts. I assume everyone has these? I really don’t know, but I find it useful for navigating through tough situations – of which I find myself in rather frequently (again, another topic for another day).
I believe we’re here to learn lessons. Whether you like it or not, you have to work out what the lessons are and adjust yourself accordingly. If you don’t, you’re going to be made to do it again until you do learn them. Be it in this life or the next one (that last part is utterly a personal point of view, of which I have no intention of debating).
Let me frame this up by tip toeing around religion. Some may describe me as agnostic – because I don’t believe there’s enough evidence to back any one particular brand. But I do believe in a combination of things and my aforementioned stated philosophy has deep seated Buddhist roots. But I’m not Buddhist. Like my politics, I prefer to not lean any particular way but be open minded enough to entertain that it could be a variety of things together that make up the best path or truth.
This particular philosophy is what I call an “every dayer”. It’s not just whipped out for special or extreme circumstances, it’s one that can be applied in almost all situations in life – from a parking ticket to getting the kids ready for school. The sum of it is this: look at it from the other point of view. I don’t know about you, but all around me I see people (thanks social media) who aren’t able to stand back from their own point of view and entertain someone else’s. Someone being “wrong” is a crime against their person. I see people who are stuck in their ways and defending this as either, “just the way I am, you can’t change me” or actually just so obstinate that they can’t even see that it’s what they’re doing. It’s what is killing this wonderful world we inhabit (if you think about it, you’ll realise that even climate change is a result of people unable to listen). Our inability to accept that we might not be right is our fatal flaw.
God knows I’ve had to learn the hard way. I often joke about how through my late 20’s I had the privilege of having “the little shit kicked out of me”. That’s one of the major upsides of being your own boss – you’re forced to get over yourself. That ego needs to be reshaped to a size that everyone else can live with, or you won’t have a business that works. I freely admit that it’s something that I work on constantly. And it’s not to say that I’m an egotistical pain in the ass (though some may argue that), it’s actually that the counter balance of being someone who believes in what they’re doing and will drive HARD at making it a reality, sometimes needs to be reminded to listen. Not listening can come across as being an asshole.
I never want to be the asshole. I want to be remembered as someone who was able to go “hmm, you’re right, I can do better”. I have no intention of coming back and learning hard lessons twice, god why would I? They’re hard enough the first time round, the second time would just be humiliating and possibly boring.
My plan is to try and suck up the lessons and get to the next level – whatever that might be.